Speech

Brainstorming

I hope to connect with the audience by talking about parts of life they can all relate to. I also hope to engage with the audience by taking a sensible approach to the topic and breaking it down while still acknowledging the complexity that will inevitably come with it. Hopefully an approach that includes advice and perhaps some humor will also help form this connection. 

I have chosen to make my speech about becoming a better version of your personal self because it is something that affects both the professional and academic parts of life. Additionally, becoming a better version of yourself in your personal life has an impact on what I consider the most important parts of life; relationships, daily habits, and the things that we love to do on our own time. The broad reach of this topic and its importance to multiple (and perhaps all) aspects of life make it very compelling to me, and something that has many approaches to explore. 

Outline 

• The focus is essentially love, and discussing how expressing love can help in self improvement 

• Important lessons I have learned and try to use when I can, practical advice will also be included 
• Recognize harmful patterns of thought and try to intercept or redirect 

• Love life 

• Things you are grateful for, happy memories 
• Difficulties do not mean life isn’t worth living (but things do suck sometimes so you can acknowledge that. However, remember not to dwell on the negative) 

• Go outside 

• Love others 

• Treat people with respect – everyone has value 
• Empathy – try to understand others 
• Compassion – be kind even if you don’t like/understand someone 

• Love yourself 

• Self care and boundaries (many potential topics here) 
• Respect, empathy, and compassion towards the self 
• Give yourself a break 

• These are all interconnected and work in conjunction with each other 

Outline

Speak up 

• Main ideas: self advocacy, knowing how to approach and when to wait 
• Speaking up for yourself  

• Scariest thing ever probably 

• Charge up 
• Take a deep breath (or several) 

• (My girlfriend has pointed out that I do this whenever I have something important to say) 

• Think about the thing you want to change 

• Believe it or not, it is worth the effort 

• I promise 
• It’s important for something as quick as getting some extra ketchup or as big as telling someone you don’t like how they’ve treated you 
• Approaching a person 

• Many times it’s straightforward 
• Like in a work environment or at a store, where there are certain behaviors expected (be polite, calm, and professional) 

• However in personal situations it can be a little more difficult 
• In any of these, there are two important things 

• Don’t be overly confrontational 
• Don’t let emotions get the best of you 

• Confrontation 

• Many times it’s straight up unnecessary 
• Working together to a solution is better 

• That’s how we learned to handle customer concerns 

• You don’t need to be pushy when asking where to find the frozen peas 
• And in personal situations it’s definitely not a good idea to be this way out of the gate 

• It’s counterproductive and people will be less likely to listen or want to change 
• Do not become the problem 
• This is notably different from being firm and resolved, which is important and often necessary 

• Emotions 

• Listen, it’s okay to be afraid 

• But if you want something 
• And the other person does not want to give it to you 
• You cannot show them you are afraid  
• They will respond better (unless they want you to fear them, in which case, ABSOLUTELY do not show fear) 
• They will respect you more  

• And if you act like you are sure of what you’re saying 
• Or you believe you deserve what you are asking for 
• That’s one more reason for them to think you’re right 

• I have found that focusing on how you are saying the thing helps draw my attention away from being nervous about what I’m doing  
• Which, let’s be real, is being vulnerable 

• Because the times we struggle with speaking up is asking for help, or saying something is not okay 
• When to wait 

• Sometimes you have to be polite because people are busy or stressed 
• Think about urgency 
• Think about opportunity 

• Think about circumstances 
• Set up a dedicated time (but don’t go overboard, less pressure works better for all) 
• These are for bigger topics typically 
• Like asking for a raise, addressing a relationship issue, coming out, etc. 

• Conclusion 

• If you have something to say, don’t beat around the bush 
• It’s worth it, and you can do it 
• So be brave 
• And don’t forget to breathe 

Revised Outline

Speaking up for yourself is probably one of the scariest things ever. It’s definitely something I have struggled with my entire life. I’ve gotten a lot better as I’ve grown up but there’s still a lot for me to improve on. But today, I’m going to share the things I have learned with you.  

I get a lot of stress from speaking up in any situation. You know, feeling silly, not wanting to be an inconvenience, stuff like that. So I always start by reminding myself that what I want is worth the work of asking for it. Because believe it or not, it is worth the effort. You’ll feel so much better after, whether it’s because you have ketchup or because you’ve finally set an important boundary. 

Something I do to help make things easier is just brace up and take a deep breath (or several). I do this enough that my girlfriend can always tell when I have something important to say. I also tend to focus on exactly what I’m saying. It may not work for everyone, but focusing on how I’m speaking helps distract me from the fact that “oh yikes I’m asking for something”.  

These help me keep the stress at a reasonable level, which is really important. Keeping your emotions in check when you’re talking to someone, and acting sure of yourself, even if it’s just a baseline level of calm and confidence, goes a long way. If you act like you are sure about what you’re saying, that’s just one more reason for the other person to be sure as well. 

However, remember when you’re approaching a person, not to get overly confrontational. When I worked in customer service, I was taught how to do this. Sometime the other person will just be angry, and you still have to work with them to solve the problem. It’s a little more straightforward in professional situations, where certain behaviors are expected. Personal situations tend to be messier. Just remember that being confrontational is not the same as being firm and resolved. You can have a direct and solid approach without being pushy or casting blame, and it will turn out much better. 

All this goes to say, when you have to speak up for yourself, be direct and calm. It’s worth it, and you can do it. So be strong, and don’t forget to breathe. 

Feedback

MY BEST ADVICE: My best advice was to connect the ideas in a speech together. Many of the group members connected ideas in their speeches with related anecdotes, but this is not the only way they could be connected. A common theme or giving the ideas a meaningful order could also work. 

WHY IT’S MY BEST ADVICE: A speech with a lot of ideas can give a lot of information, but it can be difficult to listen to. It also can make the speech feel scattered. Having something to connect the ideas can make the speech feel unified. 

BEST ADVICE FROM MY PEERS: The best piece of advice I got from my peers was to strengthen my conclusion. It was very brief and didn’t really do anything for the speech other than end it. It needs to be stronger to drive the point home. 

WHY IT’S THEIR BEST ADVICE: It’s important to have a strong conclusion to a speech or essay. This speech, although directed to one point, does not have a solid conclusion yet. Having one will make the entire thing stronger and more cohesive, and drive the point home. 

Journal 7 

The fact that the speech revolves around one specific approach to the topic (self improvement) worked well, and the anecdotes about customer service that I included added to the speech were useful and relatable. I think the speech could be reorganized a little bit, possibly placing more emphasis on just a few key points, rather than the much broader approach it has now. There are a lot of details, which can be important, but feel like too much to get through in such a short speech.  

The conclusion also needs to be much stronger, because right now it is essentially just a stopping point. The speech definitely feels cut off at the end. There needs to be something there that ties it all together, perhaps something that links back to the beginning of the speech. Focusing in on a few key points, and tailoring the conclusion to end strongly and unify the speech are the two major changes I need to make. 

Journal 8

Some things I would like to add to the speech based on feedback and self evaluation are a more direct introduction at the beginning of the speech. Something that states who I am and what my purpose is and gives a more straightforward lead in to the rest of the speech. I also need to work on the delivery of the speech. Although I thought I was fairly relaxed at the time, on rewatch I can see/hear the tension and use of filler words that people mentioned. 

The speech also needs to be a bit longer, so I may elaborate on some points as well as the conclusion. Although my conclusion is better than before, I could try to build it up more. I could also tie in more examples to the body of the speech or add an additional point to increase the length. 

Final Outline

• Intro 

• Introduce self and purpose 
• One way to improve personal self  
• Speaking up for yourself is scary 
• I have struggled my entire life and I’ve gotten a lot better but I can always improve 
• But today I’m going to share what I have learned 

• Speaking up is stressful 

• You feel silly, don’t want to be an inconvenience, etc.  
• Things are worth asking for 
• Remind yourself that it is worth the effort 
•  You’ll feel so much better after, whether it’s because you’ve gotten ketchup or because you’ve finally set an important boundary 

• Taking a deep breath (or several) can help a lot to gear up 

•  I do this enough that my girlfriend can always tell when I have something important to say 
•  I also tend to focus on exactly what I’m saying/how I say it 
• Focusing on how I’m speaking helps distract me from the fact that “oh yikes I’m asking for something” 
• These help me keep the stress at a reasonable level 

•  Keeping your emotions in check when you’re talking to someone goes a long way. 

•  If you act like you are sure about what you’re saying, that’s just one more reason for the other person to have confidence in you as well 
• They will respect you more  
• If they hear you loud and clear and assertive 

• Stand up straight 
• Speak clearly 
• Don’t hesitate 
• Be polite and calm 

• However, do not get overly confrontational 

• Learned this in customer service 
• Sometimes the other person will just be angry 
• You have to work with them still 
•  It’s a little more straightforward in professional situations 
• Personal situations tend to be messier. 
•  Just remember that being confrontational is not the same as being firm and resolved 
•  You can have a direct and solid approach without being pushy or casting blame 

• All this goes to say, when you have to speak up for yourself, be direct and calm. 
•  It’s worth it, and you can do it. So be strong, and don’t forget to breathe. 
• This can be used everywhere in your life 
• So go forth, and speak up! 

Journal 10

I wasn’t super satisfied with the final speech; I feel like I did better during the dry run. I definitely used a lot of filler words and was not as confident as in the previous run. In that version of the outline, I had everything written out in narrative form. It felt easier speaking when I had everything written like that, even though I didn’t really read it super closely when delivering the speech. For some reason it just felt easier. Other than that, the drafting and practicing went fairly well, although I wish I’d given myself more time. It didn’t seem to be a problem for the earlier run, but with the same amount of practice time, I did not do as well on the final run.